HOW DOES CZAR EAT POTATOES?
by Anne Rose
ill Janosch
Children, children,
Answer, all of you, my question:
How does a czar eat potatoes?
Potatoes?
You raise a wall of butter
And solider
With a cannon
Shoots potatoes through the butter
Into the czar's mouth.
And that's the way, that's the way
A czar eats potatoes.
Tell me, child,
Your father, how does he eat potatoes?
My father?
He grabs a handful
And eats them fast.
He grabs another,
With some cabbage,
If there's any.
And that's the way, that's the way
My father eats potatoes.
Then children, tell me,
How does a czar drink tea?
Tea?
You take a loaf of sugar
And make a hole in it.
You pour it full of steaming water
And you stir, and you stir
All the way to the czar's lips.
And that's the way, that's the way
A czar drinks tea.
And your father, how does he drink tea?
My father?
In a mug filled with water
He puts a wooden spoon.
He stirs and he stirs.
As he dreams of sugar.
And that's the way, that's the way
My father drinks tea.
Answer, all of you, my question:
How does a czar bathe?
Bathe?
You fill a room
Full of steam.
The czar sits
And sweats and sweats
Until he's clean.
And that's the way, that's the way
A czar bathes.
And your father, how does he bathe?
My father, bathe?
In the summer when it's hot
The river awaits him.
In the winter when it's cold
He waits for summer.
And that's way, that's way
My father bathes.
Children, how does a czar sleep?
Sleep?
You stuff his bedroom full of feather
And fling him into it.
There divisions of soldiers
Stand outside and yell
S-sh! S-shhhhh! S-shhhhhhhh!!!!
And that's the way, that's the way
A czar sleeps.
And your father, how does he sleep?
Sleep?
On the stove when it's cold,
On some straw when it's warm,
On the table when the room is full,
With the chickens When it's fuller.
And that's the way, that's the way
My father sleeps.
Answer me, children,
How does a czar live?
Live?
In his crystal palace
Candles dance in mirrors,
While waiters skate on pearls,
Carrying flaming meats
To a laughing czar.
And that's the way, that's the way
A czar lives.
And your father, child,
How does he live?
My father, live?
A crooked little house,
Two chickens outside,
Many children inside,
Chicken in the soup
If the children are sick
Or the chicken is.
And that's the way, that's the way
My father lives.
Children dear, tell me,
Can a czar cry?
Cry?
You take a pot
And fill it high
With people's tears.
You pour it over him.
The tears stream down his face.
And that's the way, that's the way
A czar cries.
Child, child, but your father,
How does he cry?
Cry?
His back is bent.
His face is gray.
His eyes are small.
His pain hurts me.
And that's the way, that's the way
My father cries.
Then what's the answer to my question:
How is a czar happy?
Happy?
Feathered horses
And clashing swords
He struts and scowls.
The war is won.
The war is over-wine for all!
And that's the how, that's how
A czar is happy.
Child, tell me, can your father be happy?
Can he be happy!
Violins sing and balalaikas weep.
His boots are dusty
But his face shines
As he leaps above the dancer's heads.
And that's how, that's when
My father is happy,
Happier than a czar.
